"Dancing appears glamorous, easy, delightful, but the path to
paradise of the achievement is not easier than any other. There
is fatigue so great that the body cries, even in its sleep. There are
times of complete frustration, there are daily small deaths."
Martha Graham
"Introduce yourselves to your partner," Elena said on another day, three weeks into the program. They were starting partner classes and Justin stared at the thin girl in front of him.
"Justin," he said simply, tilting his head to try and gauge how high he could lift her. He was betting pretty high.
"Monique," she responded. "I've seen you in other classes; you're very good."
"Thank you," Justin nodded. "I wish I could say the same for you." He paused. "I mean, I haven't seen you in other classes, so I can't say whether or not you're good, but obviously you're good if you're here."
"Quiet, everyone!" Both Justin and Monique turned their attention to Elena and for the next hour, they, along with the rest of the class, watched JC and Kelliana show them what to do and did the moves themselves. More often than not, Justin found JC standing next to him and his partner with a sour look on his face.
"Be light," he told Monique as he watched Justin lift her. "Stop, stop," he told them, cutting off the music in the room. "You are a dancer," JC told Monique. "You are a female dancer, light as air and born to fly." He stood behind her and placed his hands on her hips. "I'm going to lift you. Prepare." He waited a few seconds for her to get ready and then bent his knees before lifting her up into the air. Almost immediately, he put her down and turned her around to face him. "You make it look like work," he lashed out in an angry tone. "You act like you don't want to be here. Do you?" Monique didn't say anything, too scared and too proud. "Either shape up or stop wasting my time and everyone else's time here." He turned on his heel and signaled the music to start once more.
The rest of the class was strained and while most dancers would have tried to shape up after a lecture, Monique only drew in on herself, making it harder for Justin to dance with her and causing more attention to be brought to them. Justin couldn't have been happier when Elena finally ended the class.
"I'm sorry," Monique said quietly to Justin as they were packing their things up. "I didn't mean to get us in trouble back there." Justin closed his eyes and tried not to think of the second, third, fourth, and fifth time JC had come over to reprimand them on lifts. "Partnering has never been my greatest section." Justin nodded. "So I'm sorry."
"It's fine," but Justin knew his voice was strained. He wasn't used to getting in trouble in dance class and to hear angry words from one of ballet's greatest was going to be hard to forget. "We'll work on it."
"Thanks Justin." She gave him a small smile and waved to him as she left, keeping her head down when JC walked back into the studio.
"Justin." Justin's head lifted uncertainly when he heard JC's voice. "Can I speak to you?" Justin nodded and grabbed his bag and sweatshirt, opting not to put the latter on yet. He followed JC out the door and into the elevator, not asking where they were going, but scenarios running through his mind about what he was going to get in trouble for. The elevator let them off on the 4th floor and Justin stopped in front of an office door that had JC's name on it. "Come in," he said when he unlocked it. "And close the door, please."
Justin did as he was told and sat in the seat JC waved him towards. Not being able to help himself, Justin blurted out, "Am I in trouble?" JC raised an eyebrow and Justin coughed. "I mean, because of earlier."
"Justin." JC leaned back on the small desk he had in the office, crossing his legs at the ankles and looking down at Justin. "I'd like for you to talk to Monique."
"Huh?"
"I don't think she wants to be here, that much was evident in her dancing today and for the past weeks that you've all been here. I need you to talk to her and encourage her to try harder."
"What if she is?" Justin couldn't help but ask.
"Then she shouldn't be here."
The answer hit Justin hard and he stood up. "Just because she's not perfect doesn't mean she doesn't belong here! She tries, we all do but if we're not perfect every single time like you and Kelliana, we get in trouble. The best kind of dancing comes from passion, not technique and I thought this school embraced that."
"Sit down, Justin." JC's glare sent Justin straight back into his seat. "Thank you for that heated argument, but I'm going to tell you something. You're young and you don't know what it's like in the real world of dancing and ballets. It's tough out there and unless you have both the passion AND the technique, you won't anywhere. I thought you only had the technique, but maybe you're starting to prove me wrong. Monique has the technique down to a minimum and she has no passion for dancing in her body, but she has the look of a dancer. Start using your passion for dancing and help others find it in themselves too." He was stone-faced by the end of his speech and he waited for Justin to respond. When he didn't, he nodded, "You can leave." Justin nodded and walked to the door, his body shaking slightly. "And Justin." Justin turned to his face the instructor. "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier in partnering class. It wasn't your fault." As he walked out the doors of the building, Justin met the warm air sullenly and breathed in deeply, needing to clear his mind. He began walking towards the apartment buildings, but at the last second, turned and walked away from all things that had to do with ballet.
Hours later, Justin made his way back to his room. "Hey, you're back late," Jordan commented. "What happened?"
"Chasez asked me to stay after."
"Yeah? He kiss you?"
"Jordan!" Justin shook his head. "Asked me for, a favor, I guess, then got mad and pretty much lectured me on a dancer's passion and technique." He saw Jordan wince. "What?"
"Those lectures of his are infamous, man. JC's a big believer of passion being the driving force behind a dancer. Did he say you didn't have any or what?"
Justin shook his head, "He said he thought I didn't have it, but that maybe I was proving him wrong?" He shrugged. "I dunno. Anyway, I was pissed and confused, so I went out for a walk and found this cute lounge so I stayed for a bit. Anything happen while I was gone?"
"Not really, but some chick kept calling for you. Britney, she said. You holding out on the guys?"
"Yeah, sure," Justin laughed. "Best friend from home who wants to come visit me. I'd never date her." He turned and picked up his cell phone, turning it on and dialing the old but familiar number. "Hey, it's me." He made a face and held the phone away from his ear when her voice shrieked over the line and he listened. "Okay, I'll see you then." He hung up.
"Quick conversation."
"She's coming up next weekend. I have no say in it, I just say okay."
"The gala's next weekend," Jordan reminded him. "Tell her to bring a nice dress so she can come see the show and maybe they'll let her come to the gala afterwards."
"Thanks for reminding me," and he picked up the phone again.
*